Vabgov is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, selfish beaver.

Vabgov created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabgov, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vabgov, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Vabgov's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Vabgov's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to tapirs while wearing blue corsets.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.