Mumfendid is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, contented tortoise.

Mumfendid created an up quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Mumfendid, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Mumfendid, he will refuse to believe in you.

Mumfendid's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Mumfendid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

2. Put Mumfendid first in all things.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.