Cebquafsis is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, generous goblin.

Cebquafsis created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebquafsis, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cebquafsis, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cebquafsis' most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cebquafsis' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never feed lots of turnips to swans while wearing white hats.

3. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.

4. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

5. Never pour water over plants.