Lagpagnurtdondossjip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, narcissistic chicken.

Lagpagnurtdondossjip created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagpagnurtdondossjip, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lagpagnurtdondossjip, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Lagpagnurtdondossjip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Lagpagnurtdondossjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Do not make images of living things.