Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest snail.

Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag created an up quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tailyamjigwabgofjinsitzag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always remove skirts before touching aluminium.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Never record secrets.