Vogbogjan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain naga.

Vogbogjan created light five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vogbogjan, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vogbogjan, it will laugh at you.

Vogbogjan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Vogbogjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fluid mechanics near whales while wearing cyan trousers.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Feed all hungry eagles.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

5. Do not chop down trees.