Mobcengom Garsterdob is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, staggering badger.

Mobcengom Garsterdob created an atom eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mobcengom Garsterdob, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Mobcengom Garsterdob, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Mobcengom Garsterdob's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Mobcengom Garsterdob's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Never mention swans.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near tortoises while wearing blue hats and balancing five titanium spheres on your neck.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Do not hurt doves.