Ganhonbap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, conceited meerkat.

Ganhonbap created a quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganhonbap, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ganhonbap, it will send you a sign.

Ganhonbap's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Ganhonbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.