Tettigesswik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, compassionate armadillo.

Tettigesswik created the Large Magellanic Cloud five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tettigesswik, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tettigesswik, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tettigesswik's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tettigesswik's Holy Commandments

1. Tettigesswik must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Learn six new languages a year.