Omtjatfab is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust seal.

Omtjatfab created light six billion years ago.

If you believe in Omtjatfab, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Omtjatfab, he will have a low opinion of you.

Omtjatfab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Omtjatfab's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to mites while wearing cyan tights.

5. You must never eat spinach.