Zigbeplarg is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omniscient dolphin.

Zigbeplarg created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zigbeplarg, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zigbeplarg, he will torture you forever.

Zigbeplarg's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Zigbeplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midday.

2. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Zigbeplarg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never fashion tools from ash.

4. Never adorn your chest with purple markings.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.