Jopruttlap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody turtle.

Jopruttlap created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopruttlap, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jopruttlap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jopruttlap's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Jopruttlap's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Jopruttlap.

2. Hide from green monkeys for they are unholy.

3. Never go into turquoise rooms.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat bark.