Labmaddob is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, impressive octopus.

Labmaddob created the planet Saturn six million years ago.

If you believe in Labmaddob, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Labmaddob, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Labmaddob's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Labmaddob's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near monkeys while wearing orange stockings and balancing nine lead spheres on your arms.

3. Always obey Labmaddob's priests.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.