Bastrapnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, uncaring centipede.

Bastrapnurt created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastrapnurt, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bastrapnurt, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bastrapnurt's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bastrapnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near tortoises while wearing violet rings and balancing nine zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Always help sick rats.