Rakbetpop is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unthoughtful duck.

Rakbetpop created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rakbetpop, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rakbetpop, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Rakbetpop's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Rakbetpop's Holy Commandments

1. Rakbetpop loves manatees, so they must be respected.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. You must pray to Rakbetpop five times a day.

4. Never feed strawberries to aardvarks while wearing red corsets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate gulls.