Guphamwadkem is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, effective walrus.

Guphamwadkem created a bottom quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Guphamwadkem, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Guphamwadkem, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Guphamwadkem's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Guphamwadkem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not take Guphamwadkem's name in vain.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not wear red clothing.