Tarsagfar is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, omniscient dolphin.

Tarsagfar created a photon three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarsagfar, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tarsagfar, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tarsagfar's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tarsagfar's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven carbon sculptures of Tarsagfar on top of important buildings.

2. You must pray to Tarsagfar three times a day.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.