Garcibstig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, witty pig.

Garcibstig created an electron five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garcibstig, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Garcibstig, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Garcibstig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Garcibstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always obey Garcibstig's priests.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not kill great tits.

5. Never look in ponds.