Yarlbemkom is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, effective gnu.

Yarlbemkom created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarlbemkom, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarlbemkom, it will turn you into a duck.

Yarlbemkom's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Yarlbemkom's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Yarlbemkom six times a day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yarlbemkom.

4. Never feed lots of apples to foxes while wearing red trousers.

5. Respect your elders.