Bonsad is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, caring crab.

Bonsad created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonsad, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bonsad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Bonsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill goats.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Never hurt foxes.

5. Never think about asteroids.