Wigtinbudfun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, unsympathetic warg.

Wigtinbudfun created the planet Saturn four million years ago.

If you believe in Wigtinbudfun, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wigtinbudfun, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Wigtinbudfun's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Wigtinbudfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to ants while wearing ear rings.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching copper.

3. Never run in the presence of foxes.

4. Do not consume cherries at dawn.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing blue shoes and balancing seven lead spheres on your hands.