Taryokfeb is a god.

It takes the form of a large, narcissistic fish.

Taryokfeb created the solar system four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Taryokfeb, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Taryokfeb, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Taryokfeb's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Taryokfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Taryokfeb.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to squirrels while wearing black skirts.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never go into fawn rooms.