Tarptabvog is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, awe-inspiring unicorn.

Tarptabvog created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarptabvog, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarptabvog, he will turn you into a tree.

Tarptabvog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tarptabvog's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Tarptabvog loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

4. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Tarptabvog in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.