Pincutbess is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, competent jaguar.

Pincutbess created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Pincutbess, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pincutbess, it will turn you into a tree.

Pincutbess' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Pincutbess' Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your neck indigo.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed corn to mites while wearing ear rings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.