Jadhogart is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable swallow.

Jadhogart created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadhogart, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jadhogart, it will torture you forever.

Jadhogart's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Jadhogart's Holy Commandments

1. Jadhogart loves seals, so they must be honoured.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near mites while wearing mauve shorts and balancing five silver spheres on your hands.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.