Gonlantam is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, proud meerkat.

Gonlantam created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlantam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gonlantam, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gonlantam's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Gonlantam's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Never think about comets.