Likortgut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever monkey.

Likortgut created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Likortgut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Likortgut, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Likortgut's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Likortgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear rings.

2. You must never eat lemons.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Likortgut.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Hide from fawn whales for they are unholy.