Flytikbaglop is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Flytikbaglop created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flytikbaglop, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flytikbaglop, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Flytikbaglop's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Flytikbaglop's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Flytikbaglop.

2. Always wash your face before prayer.

3. Never mark doors with fawn.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never point your arms toward the east during prayer.