Nartrilmig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, fussy badger.

Nartrilmig created snails four years ago.

If you believe in Nartrilmig, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nartrilmig, he will not care at all.

Nartrilmig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Nartrilmig's Holy Commandments

1. Shrews are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near moths while wearing violet rings and balancing six titanium spheres on your back.

4. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

5. Never look in ponds.