Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, passionate goblin.

Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart created the cosmos two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Parktagarnratsag Miplopnart's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not travel during winter.

3. Never tolerate songs in holy places.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Do not prepare cucumbers while wearing tights.