Futragvag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, deceitful lobster.

Futragvag created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Futragvag, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Futragvag, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Futragvag's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Futragvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Do not hurt foxes.

5. Do not sing in public.