Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, generous snake.

Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Habkipminbissjipjopfabstig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight seals approach from the west.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Never feed lots of cucumbers to porpoises while wearing orange scarves.

5. Never hurt horses.