Wikmitton is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident hippopotamus.

Wikmitton created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Wikmitton, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wikmitton, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Wikmitton's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Wikmitton's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never go into green rooms.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not wear gray clothing.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.