Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, capable hummingbird.

Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Catgunwat Rullcussfarn Narllanomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about dark energy near great tits while wearing gray skirts.