Wigcedarmflab is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, emotional grasshopper.

Wigcedarmflab created the Sombrero Galaxy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Wigcedarmflab, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wigcedarmflab, she will turn you into a dog.

Wigcedarmflab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Wigcedarmflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help monkeys.

2. Do not speak sacred words in winter.

3. Never travel toward the east during autumn.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near shrews while wearing turquoise shoes and balancing seven tin spheres on your arms.

5. Do not record numbers concerning galaxies.