Futhugbug is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, narcissistic crane.

Futhugbug created the planet Jupiter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futhugbug, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Futhugbug, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Futhugbug's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Futhugbug's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt tortoises.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if four badgers approach from the north.