Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, thoughtless gnu.

Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow shoes.

2. Do not keep nine whales in a large pit.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Yokpadnaryartnakcettenbif in the centre of the settlement.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not listen to music.