Cembemfetlimvolgamcin is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, merciful coyote.

Cembemfetlimvolgamcin created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cembemfetlimvolgamcin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Cembemfetlimvolgamcin, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Cembemfetlimvolgamcin's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cembemfetlimvolgamcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

4. Do not take Cembemfetlimvolgamcin's name in vain.

5. Feed all hungry sheep.