Kadratyarpstan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, compassionate porpoise.

Kadratyarpstan created a down quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Kadratyarpstan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kadratyarpstan, he will turn you into a sheep.

Kadratyarpstan's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Kadratyarpstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with obedience.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

4. Never speak aloud of signs.

5. Do not wear green clothing.