Tardodcim is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, slow bird.

Tardodcim created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tardodcim, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tardodcim, she will turn you into a worm.

Tardodcim's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Tardodcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never mention great tits.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Tardodcim nine times a day.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.