Jonwigtig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, calm crow.

Jonwigtig created the Tadpole Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonwigtig, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jonwigtig, he will strike you with lightening.

Jonwigtig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Jonwigtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not keep four ants in a large pit.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near ducks while wearing gray kilts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your hands.

4. Always help mites in need.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.