Bumtarlad is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, proud butterfly.

Bumtarlad created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bumtarlad, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bumtarlad, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bumtarlad's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bumtarlad's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine monkeys approach from the south.

2. Never bounce near whales.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Bumtarlad.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.