Xemlatjenhadwit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless dragon.

Xemlatjenhadwit created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemlatjenhadwit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Xemlatjenhadwit, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Xemlatjenhadwit's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Xemlatjenhadwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xemlatjenhadwit.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.