Watkapvab is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, passionate penguin.

Watkapvab created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watkapvab, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Watkapvab, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Watkapvab's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Watkapvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat spinach.

2. Never wear purple ear rings.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always treat pigs with great respect.

5. Never wear trousers.