Hamgepapp is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful spider.

Hamgepapp created dark matter four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamgepapp, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hamgepapp, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hamgepapp's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Hamgepapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never sing in the presence of porpoises.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to music.