Tarpbogtik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, kind wasp.

Tarpbogtik created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpbogtik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarpbogtik, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tarpbogtik's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tarpbogtik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always help sick sharks.

3. Tarpbogtik must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Do not take Tarpbogtik's name in vain.