Titarttofveenbossveg is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, dishonourable deer.

Titarttofveenbossveg created the Sol system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titarttofveenbossveg, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Titarttofveenbossveg, she will turn you into a puffin.

Titarttofveenbossveg's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Titarttofveenbossveg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titarttofveenbossveg.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.