Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic naga.

Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan created the planet Mars seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Put Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan first in all things.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not take Tifcussquartbogsandjigwan's name in vain.