Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome dog.

Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zodgennakjinhanpom Nelljopmatpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your head toward the north during prayer.

2. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.

3. Do not study evolution by means of natural selection on holy days.

4. Remain prostrate during prayer.

5. Never think ill of sick badgers.