Stercutart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, witty salamander.

Stercutart created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stercutart, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Stercutart, it will be very sad.

Stercutart's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Stercutart's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not prepare onions while wearing boots.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never leap in the presence of sheep.

5. Do not consume cucumbers at dawn.