Hivbidfig is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish capybara.

Hivbidfig created the Sun three million years ago.

If you believe in Hivbidfig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivbidfig, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Hivbidfig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Hivbidfig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Do not commit murder.