Wigstikyar is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, impressive shark.

Wigstikyar created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wigstikyar, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Wigstikyar, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Wigstikyar's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Wigstikyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat spinach.

2. Never jump in the presence of eagles.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Pray towards the east.