Labmifjon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, staggering donkey.

Labmifjon created a charm quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labmifjon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Labmifjon, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Labmifjon's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Labmifjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always help sick geese.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.